past, present, future
Sunday, 29 November 2009
12:43
WordPress allows you to schedule posts for a later date, which is really convenient as I tend to write in torrents and droughts. Right now, the date that my last post stretches towards is February 04, 2010. But, I accidentally set the wrong year for a post I scheduled a while back, and to my horror, it appeared in the past – in January 2009… when I was far from ready to be writing again, and when this blog was not even a little embryonic thought in my mind. I promptly changed it as fast as I could.
It appears then that I have no qualms about projecting into the future, but can’t bear to lie about my past. Why is that, I wonder?
sea weed blues 
i’m the other way around: anxious for everything in the future to be true, but the past seems to change itself whether i try to change it or not.
who are you writing this history for? who would be confused if it seemed you had managed to write something in january 2009? maybe you’re scared you’ll confuse yourself.
i found these words, i think you’ll recognise them:
“hierdie blog het my ontsaglik baie gehelp om te groei. nie juis omdat ek myself beter verstaan het deur my skrywes nie, maar omdat ek die seerkry hier kon omsit in iets mooi. dit was ‘n soort mourning wat ek baie nodig gehad het.”
so, myself. but if it was only myself, i wouldn’t use the thread of lies to weave my stories.
i don’t know. i try not to ask too many questions.